MY FEELINGS TOWARDS UNIVERSITY
If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll know that I dropped out of university… twice. I wrote a blog post about it! It has been a couple of years since I dropped out the second time and, after my breakdown in May, some thoughts about uni have been popping up recently.
To condense a long story short, I dropped out of the University of Gloucestershire in December 2014. I was studying Television Production but wasn’t enjoying the course and I was being bullied by coursemates, so I left. I started at the Open University studying English Language and Literature but the compulsory modules we had to study were history-based and not at all what I wanted to study, so I left again.
Now I’m left with few options – I can go back to university part-time but not full-time due to Student Finance funding rules, but there’s no part-time courses in universities near me that I would want to study. I’d rather go to a ‘brick’ university than an online one as I think I work better in that setting. I found with the Open University that I wasn’t really learning, I was just reading the textbook and then rewording it for the assignment. In a normal lecture there would be conversations with the lecturer and classmates, more hands-on work and a more productive learning environment.
I don’t know if I want to go back to university or not. I would like to finish a degree so I can say that I achieved something, rather than for a specific purpose. Of course, a degree might help me find a graduate job, but there’s not really any opportunities for the kind of job I’d like to do where I live, or even in a commutable distance.
I’m also fully aware that I may only want to go back to university because my first year at Gloucestershire was such a great one and I’m nostalgic for the good times I had. I also know that I wouldn’t be able to recreate the experience – I wouldn’t live on-campus, for one – so it wouldn’t be the same. Especially as I’d be six years (at least) older than most of my new coursemates!
If I could go back and change things, I’d probably have just swapped courses after my first year rather than dropped out of university in my second year, so that I could still do a full-time degree without having to move out of Cheltenham, where I loved to live. Who knows what would have happened!