WHAT I’VE LEARNT FROM 3 YEARS OF MARRIAGE
It’s my 3rd wedding anniversary just around the corner (it’s February 27th, by the way), so I feel like I’ve been married long enough to be just about out of the honeymoon period, but not long enough that I want to throttle my husband for snoring – he snores in quite a cute way, to be honest. If that’s possible. Before we wed, we had many people talk about marriage, especially marrying young as we were just 21 and 22 when we tied the knot. We ignored all of it, as I’m sure anyone reading this who is yet to be wed will do as well – that’s fair enough – but here’s what I’ve learnt from 36 months of marriage.
IT’S ACTUALLY REALLY EASY
I think the biggest myth around marriage is that a successful marriage is hard work. That you both have to really work hard to keep your marriage happy. Um, really? I don’t want to humble brag, but it’s been smooth-sailing for us. We have yet to argue (except when I don’t want to do the dishes and it’s definitely my turn) and I don’t really understand what there is to work so hard on. Marriage is easy-peasy. We often get comments about being too young and people telling us we’ll grow apart as we age, but I’m finding the opposite – we’re growing up together.
Perhaps some hardship comes when couples are argumentative by nature, or when there’s big decisions looming and the stress gets too much. Luckily neither of us are the arguing type (I wouldn’t have married an arguer), plus we’re basically the same person and rarely disagree on anything besides what constitutes a good video game. Clue: it’s usually not whatever he’s playing.
MARRIAGE IS A NEVER-ENDING SLEEPOVER WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND
I never get sick of my husband’s face. I’m sure in twenty years or so, I might think differently, but I love that all of my time is spent with my best friend! He’ll always have my back, be on my side and support me through whatever crazy thing I’m doing and he knows that I’ll do the same for him. Remember the sleepovers or days out with your best mates you’d have when you were kids and how much excitement and joy it brought you – that’s what being married is like, with more adult responsibilities. And kissing.
If your husband (or wife) isn’t your best friend then you’re doing marriage wrong, my friend.
MARRIAGE ISN’T A FAIRY TALE
When I was younger I was pretty sure that when I got married, we’d suddenly have a perfect life and would get everything I’ve ever dreamed of. Now that I’m 24 and more realistic, I know that I don’t have the money for a perfect life. I might have married my dream man – not quite a prince, because where’s my damn castle? – but I certainly don’t have my dream life, bank account or home. We’ve had to compromise and buy whatever was affordable and make do with what we have. Which is each other, so that’s pretty cool.
This isn’t even really to do with marriage, but more just about life in general. It’s a lot harder and more confusing than you think it’ll be as a child or teenager. Things happen that are out of your control and you usually have to compromise on pretty much everything.
ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE
I noticed that once we were married and settled into our house, we fell into a routine quite quickly. I think this is true with any relationship, but every now and then we have to remind ourselves that routine can sometimes drift into stagnation. When I feel like we’re in a rut, we make sure to get out and about more in the weekends and evenings, or change our daily routines up a little. Life is more interesting when you try new things!
I think this is the the problem in a lot of cases where people feel bored in their relationships. I think we all need more spontaneity and adventure in our lives and relationships – life is short. But life is sweet.
For more personal blog posts like this one, here’s a whole category!